We are all special people.

Mood: still good!
Music: the clash - should I stay or go now

On the 17th of November my fellow tutors and I were assigned the task of creating a midterm exam for our pupils, which was to be handed in on the 28th of November. We had lots of time, but I still started early and had pretty well everything done except section C which involved a sight passage.
And I guess in my mind, November the 28th existed in an alternate universe where time stands still, because even though I knew that Monday the 28th was the due date I had it in my head that I still had plenty of time.

And so yesterday afternoon at two o'clock there was nobody in the public library except Anneliese looking frantically for a sight passage amongst a group of little retarded children. Beside me was the most sardonic litte girl in the world who had down syndrome and was flipping through the pages of Teen magazine. And every time she'd turn a page over she'd sigh, dramatically roll her eyes up toward the heavens, then say something really depressing about whatever was on the page. On the other side of me was a boy who kept slapping the backs of his earlobes and saying "AAAhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhhhhAAAhhhhhhhhh..." for the whole time I was there. And there was another young man who had taken to pretending he was a cat.


So, today Robbie Baby and I discussed how I'd never fit in so well before in my life.

Ta Da.

I ain't sayin' she's a gold digga...

Mood: good!
Music: Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx - Golddigger

I can't help feeling a little bit like a whore right now. ;-)

-End-

Joyful, Joyful!

Mood: joyful!
Music: The Doors - Hello I Love You

I have found a charming and wonderful Christmas gift for The Mother for a total of: TWO DOLLARS AND FORTY CENTS!!!! AHA! That's a whole $1.04 CHEAPER than my last cheap Christmast present, which rang in at a measley $3.44.

Rejoyce!

It's not that I hate my mother or anything. They were on sale at 70% off of $7.99. And I already bought her a present essential to her life for $17.25. (It was hair straighening spray.) Which means that 2005's gifts For The Mother have come to a total of $19.65. Which happens to be less than twenty dollars... Which means I am experiencing that warm fuzzy feeling right now.

Also. I had a dream where I was in the States and someone told me to go get brownies at the store (it was called the "A to Z Mart") and then handed me a shotgun for protection. Haha... I could have been in Toronto. Which leads me to a reason why I am a very awful person. Yesterday when I went to the bank there was a boy standing outside selling chocolate bars, and he was black, and he asked me if I wanted to buy a chocolate bar to support Children in Crisis, and my train of thought automatically went something like this:

(keyword:) Black Kid + (keyword:) Crisis = (inevitable result) GUN VIOLENCE!!! AH! Quick, buy TWO chocolate bars!!

And then later it occoured to me that I wasn't so much being generous as racially discriminative.

Now I must go and watch a documentary about the making of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Ta Da.

Meow.

Mood: still recovering from Wednesday's blow.
Music: RENT theme, which is stuck in my head.

Think of how much different your life would be if you were a cat. It would be so much better. You'd never have to work a day in your life, yet in this glorius day and age we live in, you'd be free to roam around in a house that probably costs upwards of $100,000.00.
Your life would consist of doing your three favourite things: Eating, napping, and bringing death to small, helpless animals that you find outside.
You would have larger, more intelligent creatures to serve you and do your bidding. Bringing home your food. Opening up the can upon request. Feeding you. Washing your dishes. Cleaning your toilet. Bringing you to the doctor. Paying for it. Petting you. Opening doors for you upon request.
And when you got tired, you could take a snooze at any old time. Anywhere you wanted to. ...On a bed. That is at least fifty times the size that you are.
(How come the Anneliese:bed ratio is not that large? It should be. Because that would be sweeeeet.)
Also think of the social issues that you would not have to deal with. I'll be damned if a fat cat feels insecure about their appearence. The only way the weight would hinder them is that they would become a poorer mouse chaser. But they are probably fat because they don't like chasing mice that much to begin with, so it all works out.
Get knocked up? No problem. No other cat is going to shun you. There is no school for you to drop out of, or job for you to quit: you live at home! There's no need to go on welfare. And you're not going to be stuck rearing your offspring for the next twenty years.
Also, another cat is not going to hate you baised on the colour of your fur.
Nor are they going to judge you baised on the collar you're wearing or something equally as stupid.

Ah, life as a cat. . .

Sub-Zero Temperatures

Mood: sabotaged. (Sabotage: Treacherous action to defeat or hinder a cause or an endeavor; deliberate subversion.)
Music: The Beatles - Yesterday

It is really gross out right now because there's snow everywhere that blows up and stings you in the eyeballs and it's minus nine but due to wind chill it's extra bitter and feels like it's minus twenty.
Just like a room with Bre in it.

Last night was a sad night in model history as Kim left America's Next Top Model with what appeared to be the last ounces of grace and dignity in London, England. All other ounces of grace and dignity had since fled the premisis in the shadow of Bre's wrath, for in the previous two episodes she has unveiled herself as some sort of gastly creature who preys upon joy and harmony and yearns to ravage the self-esteem of those rightfully percieved to be greater than it's self.

Because she spent TWENTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS on a shopping spree but could not be bothered to reimburse Nicole of five energy drinks which she poured down the sink in a fit of spite and rage.

And so, the world cried lastnight. And me and my good friend Paul got together and composed a song in Kim's honour.

This one's for you, Kim.

Ta Da!

Look everybody, I'm kicking myself in the ass!

Mood: pleasant
Music: That stupid Gwen Stefani song is on in the kitchen. I think she needs some new material.

I should go onto my blogger profile and change my location setting to The Nation of Procrastination, because that World Issues essay that is due on Thursday? ...Naahhhh! I don't feel like working on that right now. Instead, I am going to do some other things such as drive to McDonalds (by the way, I hate McDonalds), play solitare, look up Greyhound fares for a trip to Grand Rapids, Michigan (don't ask), and review restaurants. (If the editor likes me, my reviews will be posted within one business week. Look for me on restaurantica.com under With the Grain and Carden St. Cafe. Perhaps I have a bright future in criticism.)

Also: Big news. I am becoming a lady, as I now own a sleek new pair of dress pants. Look out, High Society England! Anneliese Neumann is now the spitting image of sophistication!

Ta ta for now.

...Darlings.

G-Twonit!

Mood: triumphant!
Music: 3 Doors Down - Kryptonite

Who does their Road Test on a full moon when it's messy and raining with leaves flying everywhere and people trying to crash into them and does a perfect parallel park and a perfect back-in park even though they couldn't do it for the life of them the day before AND comes out of it with a nice, sparkely ninety per cent?

Anneliese does!



Oh, yeah!

And no offence to my gender or anything, but there really are some psychotic little women out there. I started my test at the same time as this giggly little girl and not even two minutes into the test I was slamming on my brakes in the middle of Silvercreek parkway because she went all coo-coo and nearly sideswiped me at fifty kilometers per hour. Heh... Sucks to her failure.

OH! And that delicious boy that I was stalking at Hillside? Luke Doucet? Was totally on my TV screen today!! Damn! I am having such a good day!!! (And I hadn't even mentioned the fact that we're getting Subway for supper! Wee!)

Ta Da!

cheap date

Mood: very pleased with self to the point of smugness
Music: Sigur Ros - Staralfur

HA! Christmas shopping has begun with one relatively important person off my list for exactly three dollars and forty-four cents. Because I'm cheap and I'm proud, damnit!

Muahahahaha!

A Night of Passion

Mood: kinda bored
Music: the eagles - hotel california

Tomorrow I get to sleep in, and that is sexy. I'll be needing alot of rest after what's in store for me this evening! Oh, YES! Gladiator and A Beautiful Mind!!! Russell Crowe is what I'm talkin' 'bout. ;-) *swoon*

rah rah rah

Okay, so, like, on Wednesday? We had a thunder storm! And then, like, yesterday!?! IT SNOWED!!

Also yesterday at work I felt like I was on Oprah because of this lady that came in to have her hair did- man, did she have the shittiest three months! In August she had an aneurysm (ie. 75% of her aorta exploded) and just the fact that she didn't drop dead then and there is pretty amazing. So she got rushed to a hospital in Toronto, and it just so happened that they caught the doctor (one of only FIVE in the country[!!!!!!!!!!] who can do this surgery) right before he was about to go on vacation. So what happened next was they lowered her body temperature to 20 degrees C (68 degrees F), drained out all the blood from her body, and proceeded to dissect her aorta.
When THAT was done and she was still alive, she was in a coma and the doctors said that if she did wake up, she would wake up with severe brain damage and need to be on dialysis for the rest of her life. Then nine days into her coma her family holds a vigil for her, and her daughter goes in to check on her and she starts chattin' it up.
And now here she is kickin' it, having a hair cut with absolutely no brain damage and no need for dialysis. ...Because God either loves her very much or not enough to want her with Him quite yet.

And after that inspirational customer, a dad brought in his little skater punk son because he was 'flipping his hair' too much - and that's just not manly! And I laughed.

Ha ha.

LONDON, WHAT!?!?

mood: fabulous!
music: the dandy warhols - rock bottom

(Now everyone can see how much of an addict I am.)

I FEEL LIKE DANCING!! Beeeeecauuuse! ANTM is going to LONDON! Man. Who knew I'd get so excited over a bunch of models. AND! !!! ! !!!!!!! I'm actually finding Lisa less annoying. There's a definate entertainment factor with Lisa, even if she does sacrifice her dignity a little bit here and there. I'd miss her if she left. I dunno about Jayla though... not so much one of my favourites anymore. Lately all shes been giving me is the urge to stab her in the temple -- she's a little unsocialized... like, mentally she's just starting highschool. For instance on the preview for next week when everyone's picking on Kim, she decides to chyme in only once the other ones have started. She lacks balls, so to speak... (that's why I miss Coryn). Also. Simmer down bitches! Kim's friends all got booted off and shes just feeling a little insecure. Its not like you've never talked about anyone before *cough*JAYLA*cough And besides, shes gunna kick all yo' asses anyway. ...Just you wait.
And incase ya'll don't think I'm crazy yet, I used my artistic flare to fashion one of my piece-of-crap hand-me-down t-shirts into a stunning work of art:

Worn with pride, bitches.

Oh yeah! Did I mention that I officially have a sugar daddy? Because I do.

Score.

~Fin~

Surrender, Earthlings.

Mood: can't complain
Music: Orgy - Blue Monday

Since it is international women in crisis month(?!), last week over the announcements we had some exciting women in crisis trivia! (Which I am finding much more preferable than last year's festivity: "Stop the Bop". I know what you're thinking, because I thought it too - "'Stop the Bop'? Like, 'bop' as in wife beating? ...wtf!?!?" But actually, they just played Hanson's "Mmmbop" over the PA during every spare moment for days on end untill the student body either went insane and killed eachother, or raised a certian ammount of money towards women in crisis.)
(Mostly, we raised the money.)
Anyways. One of last weeks trivia questions was "What per centage of Canadian women feel threatened walking alone in their own neighbourhood after dark?" And the answer was something like 100% of them.

...No kidding! My street resembles a bloody scene from The Exorcist!

*cue creepy music*

(By the way, that's not sepia. That's just how warm and inviting it normally looks.)

Also. Today Mikey, Cat and I went to see Jarhead (my rationale being that Jake Gyllenhaal is almost as hot as Kim and therefore most definately worth $9.95 and two hours of my life that I will never have back). It was alright. As far as war movies go it doesn't touch Full Metal Jacket, but to my delight I did get to see Mr. Gyllanhaal's buns on more than one occasion (they were very nice) aswell as witness him topless, and dancing around with a Santa hat covering his schlong. Tee hee!

End Scene.

Got Kilt?

Mood: evil

In tutoring we had to read this book where every time the ghost of the Cheif Indian spoke it was like u wer hooked on fonix. After a while of him using the term for a skirt worn by hairy Scottish men to describe the act of murder, you begin to question what educational merits he's offering to kids that might have some trouble with literacy as it is.

Commencement tomorrow. Guess who didn't hand in her 40 hours. That's right. Me.

Ta Da!

Shit!

IT'S HAILING!!!!

Argh. Canada is going to hell in a handbasket.