101 Things you Needed to Know About Your Anneliese

1. My real-life name is Anneliese Joan Neumann
2. I will also respond to "Anne", "Annie", "Liese", "Gorgeous" or any other variation of my first name
3. I will hurt the person who attempts to address me by any variation of my last name [insert Seinfeld joke here. Haha you’re so funny!]
4. As opposed to popular belief, the origin of my name is German Greek and not Dutch
5. My background is German and Irish. This makes me Germish.
6. My name means grace, devotion, and "Oath of God"
7. I believe in Buddha and Jesus.
8. I was born on February 7, 1987
9. This makes me an Aquarius
10. This also makes me a Rabbit
11. I can swear in English, French and German
12. Up until the sixth grade, I thought Hamlet was about a pig
13. I really like bacon on things (salads, subs, pizza… mmmmm, crispy bacon!)
14. I fell down a flight of concrete stairs before I could walk
15. When I landed I smashed my face into an iron grate
16. This happened when my dad was watching me
17. I am a daddy’s girl
18. I have a permanent scar above my right eye
19. Chicks dig scars
20. I am not a lesbian, though I own a pair of lesbian pants and also play rugby
21. Bisexuals think I’m hot
22. I have also been told that I make a hot Goth
23. I like to eat mint chocolate chip ice cream
24. I can eat all the mint chocolate chip ice cream I want and not get fat. Envy me!
25. I was a fat in grade 7… hahaha! Fatty! Harrrr!
26. I like pirates
27. I have my eyebrow pierced, like a pirate
28. When I watch Pirates of the Caribbean, I find myself extremely attracted to Johnny Depp
29. When I watch anything I find myself extremely attracted to Johnny Depp
30. …with the exception of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
31. I am generally attracted to dark-haired, dark-eyed individuals (ie. Dickface …not actually his real name)
32. Freud is full of shit poo. The entire paternal side of my family is blond.
33. Ceramic baby dolls scare the friggin’ bejesus out of me
34. I make homosexuals giggle because I am ‘tiny’
35. I wonder to myself if they are secretly referring to my rack
36. I am shorter than Uma Thurman and taller than Christina Aguilera
37. I am cleverly disguised as 5’5"
38. In China that’s hot
39. My hair is light brown
40. My eyes are hazel
41. My skin colour ranges from pale to very pale
42. I have one little brother. He looks like me
43. I have several beauty marks, which means I’m beautiful
44. My favorite beauty mark is located below my pants and above my undies – it’s name is Homer
45. I have an odd habit of naming my body parts
46. My breasts are to be addressed as Betty and Veronica
47. I giggle upon reading the word "butt"
48. I cannot say "toy boat" five times fast without saying "toy boyt"
49. I hate the feeling of stepping into a hot bath with cold feet
50. Last time I was drunk I listened to Simple Plan
51. I have been sober for exactly one year, four months and one day
52. My use of the word ‘sober’ is debatable
53. I enjoy cheese! Glorious cheese!
54. I was obsessed with N*SYNC
55. I wanted to marry Chris Kirkpatrick
56. I taught myself the choreography to the song "Bye Bye Bye"
57. I am extremely ashamed of facts 54 through 56
58. I used to say "Jew Jew" instead of "jube jube"
59. I am not anti-Semitic, though I know of many a joke
60. I laughed when I first heard the jokes
61. I have been told I am going to hell. According to the Dante’s inferno test, I am going to limbo purgatory
62. According to Myers-Briggs, I am either an INFP or an ENFP
63. My first word was ‘mess’
64. My mother believes it was prophetic
65. I have hyperextendable joints in my fingers and thumbs, which has grossed out many a person
66. I find it comes in handy for playing video games
67. If I were a man for a day, I would jump up and down to see if it feels as funny as it looks
68. I have never seen a real-life penis
69. If I saw a real-life penis I don’t know weather I would scream and cry or laugh and point
70. I actively participate in playing "the penis game"
71. I am chaste
72. I own a garment I like to call my ‘chastity thong’ – it’s blue with a silver key ornament on it
73. I also own a pair of granny panties with big red hearts all over them
74. I am wearing them right now
75. I have waded thigh-deep through beaver shit poop.
76. Wading thigh-deep through beaver shit poop strengthens friendships, but ruins running shoes
77. My entire outdoor ed. class has seen my ass on two separate occasions
78. The first time involved a mishap with an old pair of jeans and a game of curling…
79. The second time involved being marooned on an island with lots and lots of sugar.

80. On my last canoe trip I became dehydrated because I refused to drink Tang
81. I can eat an entire case of butter tarts in one sitting
82. Neve Campbell babysat me two times
83. I have a gay cousin named Carson who has his own backyard makeover show
84. I always cry at the end of Armageddon
85. I like Armageddon despite the fact that it features both Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck and is a completely stupid movie
86. Albeit the fact that I am straight, I think Liv Tyler is really sexy
87. I had a pet chicken once
88. I also had a pet deer
89. I named it Bambi
90. I have always been very creative
91. When I was four, I asked my mother if I could legally change my name to Starlight Sparkles
92. I was completely serious about the name change
93. I used to like the taste of pancakes and gingerale
94. I know how to work a blowtorch
95. My dad taught me how to drive when I was twelve
96. My dad also taught me how to make a rocket ship out of a hairspray bottle. WEE!
97. I might sell my soul for a piece of cheesecake
98. I can hit all the notes in the song "I Believe In a Thing Called Love"
99. This rare trait of mine irritates and amazes many people
100. When I was ten, I drew a gigantic picture of somebody’s butt on my left forearm with permanent black marker which resulted in an enraged mother scrubbing me down with turpentine
101. Some people think I’m strange