Foot in my mouth disease.

Okay. So.

As part of my ongoing efforts to improve the quality of all that exists around me, I've registered for the 2007 CN Tower Climb for the World Wildlife Fund - all proceeds going to the fight against (dun dun dunnn) GLOBAL WARMING!

I sent my dad an e-mail from my WWF account asking for a pledge and if he could get me in touch with relatives on whom I could push my agenda. Part of the message tactfully read:

If you could do me a favour and hook me up with the e-mails of people who might like to sponsor me (ie. Kara, Aunt Evelyn, Uncle Jeff the SUV lover... and Uncle Martin who practically HAS to sponsor me, he's the Tree Guy after all :-) and anyone else you can think of) that would be superb!

And so, naturally, he forwarded my plea to the aforementioned hit list. I really should have seen this one coming.

Fantastic!

Well, I'm sure they'll find it in their hearts to forgive (read: sponsor) me. I am family, after all. ...It's just not exactly the proposition I had in mind.

Less than Impressed

So today's general attitude towards life in Res is "Less than Impressed", with particular regards to the janitorial staff and whichever one of my housemates decided to poop on the floor last Friday.
It's silly, I know. Even if you're shitfaced beyond comprehension, there's no excuse to drop your little present RIGHT IN FRONT of the toilet, unless you've got the norwalk virus and it's coming out both ends, and even THEN, there's a perfectly good garbage pail directly outside of the stall which may be utilized in such an unpleasant circumstance.
And then don't put a bag on top of it. The poop's still there.

*sigh*

So that was Friday night. Today is Tuesday morning, and though the bag has been removed, the poop is still VERY MUCH on the floor!! (Not to mention the crusty puke on the toilet seat in stall number two.)
Is our janitor on strike? Vacation? I mean, I know if I were them I sure as hell wouldn't be keen on mopping up after some drunken first year University students. But that thought alone brings two problems to mind:
Problem One - thus far (Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday) there has been no evidence of mopping activity whatsoever. None. Nada. It's been four days! THE SYSTEM HAS FAILED!!
Problem Two - had they gone to University they'd know better than to clean one for a living. (Which is mean, I know. But I am LESS THAN IMPRESSED here!)

So. Basically. This is how it goes. Somebody craps on the floor, and the rest of us just have to accept it as part of our lives for a week.

I am less than impressed.

Confessions of a Laundry Sniffer

I've just become the honorary recipient of a Very Strange Look. It was sort of a mix between a "just smile and nod at the crazy person" and a "her simpleness amuses me, however, it would be mean to outright laugh so I shall try and refrain".

You see, upon waking up this morning to find that the population of clean socks in my dresser drawer had all but become extinct, I came to the conclusion that today would probably be a good day to do laundry, lest I should resort to wearing dirty smelly stinky socks. Which would lead to dirty smelly stinky feet. Which society deems as undesirable.
And to avoid being cast out like a leper on charges of dirtysmellystinkyfeet, it was time to take action!
However, upon my arrival at the Ottonabee College laundry facilities at approximately 3:00 in the afternoon, I inferred by the lack of available washing machines that I was not the only student experiencing the sock-shortage phenomenon. My situation improved after just a short interval in which I committed a Grand Theft Fabric Softener Sheet from an unsecured box of Downy. (What? You don't just leave those babies laying around!) A studious young lad came and made the washer-dryer transition, and I was all set! ...For now.

38 minutes later. I arrive back at the laundry facility hoping to make the washer-dryer transition myself, only to find that the sock-shortage phenomenon showed no signs of subsiding. Eight little dryers were tumbling merrily, full of other people's clothes. Except for one, on which some guy was happily sorting, pairing, folding, admiring, caressing his nicely crisp, clean, dry clothes. As mine were becoming wrinkled in the washer.
Patiently I waited, as he took his time sorting, pairing, folding, admiring, and caressing. Growing restless, I noticed that several jugs of Tide had been left behind by their owners as they waited for their clothes to dry, and I noticed that each of the aforementioned jugs of Tide all had different colour-coded lids. I was curious. And so, I did the only thing that a curious person could do in this situation - I took the lids off of all the Tide jugs, smelling each one in turn. I had just discovered an insanely floral one that I didn't particularily enjoy, and turned around to make a face at my friend Sarah to get the point across, when I noticed that the laundry folder had ceased to fold and was now watching me.
"Um. You can use some if you want," he said. Generous fellow.
"Oh. No thanks, I'm just waiting for a dryer," I replied sweetly, and matter-of-factly "and, I just decided I'd smell the laundry detergent while I passed the time."
It was then that I was bestowed with a Very Strange Look.

Going over the situation, I can't say I really blame the guy. Because I must of seemed a little bit silly.

66 New Ways to Waste Your Time

1. Who were you with last night? Briget Jones
2. What is the last song you listened to? Dandelions and Bulletholes - Sarah Harmer
3. Are most of your friends in your life new or old? old
4. Do you like candy necklaces? they're the best kind!
5. Do you eat raw cookie dough? I thrive on it ;-)
6. Pancakes or French Toast? blueberry pancakes
7. How do you like your eggs? scrambled, with cream cheese in them
8. Creamy or crunchy peanut butter? creamy
9. Instant or home-made mashed potatoes? homemade(!!!!)
10. Can you handle the truth? yeah. most of the time I laugh at it.
11. What is the compliment you get from most people? my ability to pull a smashing outfit together in under five minutes in Value Villiage
12. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself? of course!
13. Is anyone on your bad side right now? oh, I'd say.
14. What’s the best drinking game? NOT 'Roxanne'.
15. Do you like your music loud or soft? I like it fitting to my mood and my circumstances
16. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? a couple of pairs
17. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? I almost slipped off my front porch a couple of times last week
18. What’s the first movie that gave you nightmares? I dunno about movie, but I used to be scared shitless of the clown at the beginning of Are You Afraid of the Dark? ...you know, back in the day.
19. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? Hmm... the Darcy guy from both Briget Jones and Pride & Prejudice... mmm mmm!
20. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror? yes, when drunk.
21. Do you talk a lot? I can get on a pretty good roll.
22. Do you make up your own words? yes, when drunk. I also give pretty good descriptions. Such as: "The girl. You know? The one with the hair." (Used when referring to a waitress with her hair twisted back at Casey's.)
23. Are you typically a jealous person? not unless the Food Network is on and I'm stuck eating a Hungryman... *shakes fist*
24. What is something you say a lot? "eff me".
25. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? The Number 23
26. Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it? I prefer the shallow end most of the time.
27. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Alone. Others always end up screwing me (figuratively, of course) out of 3/4 of MY side of the bed/floor/tent/couch/wherever I'm sleeping. ...Always.
28. Who have you kissed on your top friends? almost everyone.
29. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? yes, as of late.
30. Do you stay friends with your ex's? Well, the way I think of it, all ex's are assholes, at least on some level. Now. If they're all like "AH! I'm an Asshole! I shal hurt you with my supreme assholeish abilities! A HA HA!" then, no dice. However, if they're the type that, miraculously, one day say "Whoa. I was an asshole to you. I'm really sorry." Then, friendship is feasible.
31. “First Loves Are Never Over;” is this true for you? As a former chunkster I would have to say this statement is very true on account of my first love consisted of chocolate cake and brownies.
32. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back? LOL ...I don't think that would work out...
33. What attracted you to your recent ex? I don't have a recent ex.
34. What didn’t you like about your recent ex? I don't have a recent ex.
35. When was your last kiss? real kiss? Yesterday morning.
36. Are you/have you been in love? yes.
37. Would you wear a boyfriend/girlfriends clothes? Yes.
38. What would you say if an ex said "I love you." probably either ignore it or say thankyou. But most likely ignore it.
39. Do you consider love a mistake? Love isn't a mistake. Trusting some people enough to love them sometimes is.
40. What do you find romantic? little things... nothing too big. Flowers, surprise notes or e-mails, or surprise tickets to see a movie I'm excited for. And surprise food.
41. Turn-on? someone who's sweet and caring and confident and a good listener and thoughtful and acts proud to be with me and can laugh at their mistakes.
42. Turn-off? someone who's self-centered, obnoxious, and talks badly about other people.
43. Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or just diving in? flirting with strangers can be fun, but I have to know someone before I go any further.
44. Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out? no.
45. Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? according to some people I ONLY have eyes for the physically unattractive. But I don't think so.
46. Have you ever had sex on the beach? nope.
47. Have you ever been cheated on? emotionally, for sure. technically, I'm not sure what happened.
48. Are you too forgiving? about some things
49. Believe its possible to remain faithful forever? Yes, if both people remain devoted.
50. Do you want kids? someday

Finish the Sentence
51. Never in my life have I: eaten a whale
52. The one person who can drive me nuts is: my brother
53. When I'm nervous: my palms get sweaty
54. The last time I cried was: for a minute or so yesterday
55. If I were to get married right now my wedding party would be: having to hold me at gunpoint
56. When I was 5: I was adjusting to a broken home
57. When I look down I see: my lap
58. The craziest recent event was: my boyfriend crashing his car on his way to visit me.
59. My current gripe is: my psychology lab. HATE! HATE!
60. I have a hard time understanding: Chemestry. Like, atoms and isotopes and balancing equations and stuff.
61. There's this guy I know who: likes cheese.
62. The perfect kiss: is my specialty ;-)
63. The one thing I love about the opposite sex is: the deepness in their voices. Sometimes.
64. The most difficult thing to do is: survive in Antartica
65. The best sound in the world is: the wind
66. I lose all respect for people who: belittle others or are irresponsible with large sums of money.

No place like home. . .

There are three keys to my house sitting on the dryer. The new tennents will never have to cut a key again, because between Jake and I (well, mostly Jake) we've accumulated what must be a lifetime supply. A key would go missing, but we'd still need in the house all the same so my mom would reluctantly have another one cut. Sure enough the old one would turn up two days later.

Anyways. I just got back from an awesome trip Williams, and everything was great... but as I walked in the door it struck me that it would be the last time I'd ever return home to the house I grew up in. Im not generally a person opposed to change -- as a matter of fact, I've been looking forward to the new house with about as much enthusiasm as I, Anneliese Joan Neumann, the girl who can't care less about a trip to Europe untill she is at Pearson International staring at the aircraft about to take her overseas, can muster.
But this, this hit me kind of hard. And I have no idea why. And all of a sudden when I think about the fourteen years of my life I've lived in the house, all these mundane and overlooked things seem really special.
For instance, there's been a chunk missing out of the top of the front concrete steps since before we lived here. And it appeals to me for some reason... every time I've waited out there for a ride, or sat outside and talked on a cordless phone, or just sat out and enjoyed a summer evening on the front steps, I was aware of that characteristic. I probably sound crazy to anyone reading this, but I guess that was one of the little things that meant I was home.

One hell of a crazy concept "home" is. I rarely get attatched to things, and I never thought I was attatched to this house, but it's the one I kept coming back to, whether I liked it or not. I mean, when I was born, I lived in the house next door. Then there was that unfortunate little stint to the East Coast, but soon enough my family (well, three quarters of it anyway) was back on McTague street.
Then there was the whole 'half of the house burnt down as you slept inside it' incident when I was in grade two that forced us to relocate to Glasgow street for a few months. But after that it was back to good old McTague!
And then there were the times that I found myself in such a funk that it would have made no difference to me if the walls were made of solid gold, everything around me seemed so cold and material and utterly unremarkable that the building could have imploded and I wouldn't have blinked an eye.

And now its hard to believe that this is going to be the last time I fall asleep under the same roof, under the high ceilings that, try as I might, I could never quite touch no matter how high I jumped on my bed as a kid.

Christ, I'm sentamental right now. It's not really the first time I've felt like this though... Before the whole moving fiasco began, when the landlady popped by out of the blue and informed us our house was going to be put up for sale (the old bag actually expected my mother, a single mom with a not exactly fantastic paying job, to turn around and pull $275,000 out of her ass for an ageing, poorly maintained - although beautiful - house that was only worth $204,000 according to taxes), my mom had done some painting. She'd painted the livingroom, hall, TV room and my brother's room, and there were about 20 different paint sample cards taped to the walls of every other room in the house. This had been her home for fourteen years and she loved it and had no plans of leaving. I knew it was her dream to someday own the house (she'd put an offer together at one point, but the landlords wouldn't consider it for a second) so why not, in the mean time, fix it up the way she'd always envisioned?
Anyways. Practically the second after the landlady's visit, all of the paint samples dissappeared off the walls. This was depressing to me, because when they came down I saw her giving up a dream.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm giving up... the setting of my childhood, but that's gone with the wind. Its funny, because I never really had a real sense of this house being my 'home' untill I left for University...
Whatever. Life goes on. At least we'll have two bathrooms (hallelujah!) in the new place. And my room is painted ou-la-la red!
I'll miss my beautiful childhood home though. As much as I bitched about how small my bedroom was, or how wickedly hot it got in the summer, or the shower sucking, I know I was lucky to grow up in this place, and call it my 'home'.

Ta Da.

Mmmm...

Snowman Brains!

Like your shoes? Then DON'T FUCK WITH LEE & ANNIE!!

Mood: triumphant
Music: Emily Haines - Doctor Blind

So tonight these wiseass (and very drunk) highschool students that we don't even KNOW, elected to party at Trent and follow my roomate home form the Ceilie.

That was your first mistake. Being highschool students. Puh-lease. We, as University students are clearly gods among you. RESPECT!!

Your second mistake was to come to our room, and assume you will be staying the night. Particularily in one of our beds. Um, no. That will not be happening. I pay nearly a thousand dollars a month for the aforementioned bed, and yes, I intend to sleep on it. BY MYSELF.

Your third, and fatal error was to take off your shoes and proceed to go meandering. Beacuse this is what happened:

1. This is my window.

2. These, respectively, are your shoes.

3. Finally, this is you.

It should be noted that the door you have just used to make your exit locks automatically... pity my flash didn't detect the trace of snow on the ground.

The moral of the story: don't fuck with me. I am a mastermind.

Ta Da!