Happy International Boob Day!

Mood: famished
Music: fallout boy - sugar, we're goin' down

This morning was one of those mornings where you stay in bed practically sleeping and listening to the radio for ten minutes longer than any trace of decency should allow, then rip through your morning routine like a tornado in order to arrive at school on time.

Anyways, I didn't notice the effect of my particular shirt/bra combination until in the bathroom after first period when it was practically bounding out of the mirror infront of me -- sweet mother of pearl!!
I HAVE CLEAVAGE!!!

So for a precious moment of awe and wonder (typically experienced by girls around the age of thirteen) I stood admiring my latest attraction, until this grade ten walked in and I felt weird. Then I went to my English Literature class and got the same mark as Cat on our last assignment.

...I guess that means he likes our boobs equally as much.

Ta Da.

[Edited to add:

Ha ha! My stat counter says "420"!]

Yearbook Room Haiku

Yearbook room, lunch time

onion rings and mayonnaise

I am a fatty

I'm back and better than ever.

Mood: HUNGRY!
Music: Slipknot - Vermilion

So, today I was nearly run over by a speeding cookie delivering vehicle. Because I guess somebody somewhere was in a terribly urgent need of cookies.
But my, what a cruel and ironic fate that would have been...

Anywhoo! Since I have no regular friends who are nineteen and can go to bars with me (or who are't nineteen, but have fake IDs), I am importing one! From where else, but Germany! Hurrah! Instant Oktoberfest! (...Or not.)

Her name is Caroline and she's coming to Canada so that she may work and be trilingual. And also, she likes gelato. Which means she is already in the club! (Well... in my club at least.) We're pen pals! Ha! Bet you're jealous...

Oh, on that note, there's just one more thing I'd like to brag about today. Actually I've been meaning to brag for a while -- The most sarcastic girl in the world got a Valentine's Day present!! . . .Excellent! (No, really! this one's actually worth getting excited about!!)

CHOCOLATE FLOWERS!!!!!

Ha! The best of BOTH worlds, bitches!

I feel like we're on a roll here. Now, for the next holiday that no one cares about (namely, St. Patrick's Day), I'd like a trio of leprechauns to serve me a breakfast of Lucky Charms in bed while dancing and singing drinking songs. With whiskey. Lots of whiskey. And potatoes.

Go Ireland, go!

Ta Da.

A Valentine's Day Reminder

Mood: blah
Music: STOP! In the name of love - Diana Ross and the Supremes

I was taking a leisurely stroll downtown the other day, and I couldn't help deriving an important lesson from two consecutive window displays at the local over-priced trend outlet (right) and maternity store (left), as seen below:

It is important to remember, especially now at such a romantic time of year, that in one passionate moment of ecstasy (or maybe not so much so) THIS

Can easily ammount to THIS



(The coffee cups are included for all the sleep you WON'T be getting.)

So kids, this Valentine's day, remember

NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

...Or you can just be like me and treat yourself to a strawberry tart from With the Grain. All the pleasure, only half the mess! Woo Hoo.

...Happy Corperately Reinforced Love Day.

crucify the weather man

Mood: tired
Music: Jack Johnson - sitting, waiting, wishing
Hours remaining untill the best day of the year: 26.5!!

When it is the 3rd of February and I live in Ontario, Canada, and I happen to mention "dangerous driving conditions", a great many things might come to mind. Such as blizzards, black ice, three meters of snow, white-out conditions, and perhaps the abominable snowman.
But probably not fog.

Sure, it might look like this now. . .

But on Friday night (well, technically it was Saturday morning) I felt like I was driving through a friggin' milkshake. It was gross! At the worst of it I couldn't see ten bloody feet ahead of me with highbeams on, nor could I see any approaching lights. Did I mention that I was by myself and had no idea where I was going? Good times!

When I was but a wee bratty child, The Mother informed me that thunder was just the angels going bowling. Now, I don't want to know what those angels were up to at around 1:30 Saturday morning, but I know it was BAAAAD!
And it resulted in me driving alone along the shoulder of the road in the country in pitch black blackness, cursing myself for not having a cell phone and mentally going over a roster of mass murderers and Hollywood serial killers who could, as a part of myself reasoned at the time, very well be lurking a few feet away, just out of sight, ready to move in for the attack!

And then because I wasn't stupid enough to attempt a three-point-turn with zero visibility in the middle of Victoria road (where it turns out I was), I had to keep driving along the side of the road untill I found the driveway to the headquarters of some coachline I've never heard of in my life where I could turn around. And along the driveway were signs reading "You have come to a SAFE place" juxtaposed against the serial-killer-friendly backdrop of a large parking lot washed out by fog and floodlights.
I was out of there in two shakes.

And from there I backtracked to a happy place with city lights and candy and other vehicles and all kinds of things that didn't appear menacing. And ten minutes later I was home watching the first two episodes of LOST on DVD which preluded to the rest of my weekend.

That is SUCH! A GOOD! SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ta Da.

HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY!!!

Mood: tired
Music: RENT - Light My Candle
!!FIVE DAYS!!

I have been denied my right to privacy since Mikey has broken my door as he barricaded himself in my room with the chocolate covered jube jubes.
...Damn him, and my cheap Italian landlords who never fix anything. GAH!

Now. I shal give you a list of two things I should not attempt, or should not have attempted:

1. Getting dressed (or undressed) in my own room because in ADDITION to my ghetto blinds not working (thank goodness for ghetto curtains!), my ghetto door is now busted.
2. Washing my winter jacket at 2:00 in the morning. All the zippers and buttons ricocheting off the inside of my ghetto dryer can be really effing LOUD.

Anywhoo, technically it is Groundhog Day... but it's still hours untill Wiarton Willie pokes his head out of his little groundhog burrow and makes a really redundant prediction about spring coming early, as it is currently February in Canada yet there is no snow of the time.

So I will instead talk about exams! ...I think it's safe to say I nailed them as I am, after all, the designated "perfect tutor"(muahahaha!), and also the essay question for World Issues was magnificently similar to my thesis for my ISU essay. Which was sublime. But I now officially have carpal tunnel syndrome... altogether I wrote like, 12 pages. Because I am insane. And my hand hurt like a mother!@#%-er.

But now they are over and I have four more days of frolicking remaining untill I go back to school. Wee!

Also. I heart my Pretend Internet Boyfriend.

And now it is bed time to the max.

Ta da.