#300.2 (aka. Ways to Terrify Your Mother)

Mood: No longer hungry. Have had generous fill of cookies. Am now tired.
Music: Neil Young - Keep on Rockin' in the Free World

Okay so my actual 300th post is in draft stage. Im too tired to be in recollection mode right now. So I decided instead to regale you with how I am steadily progressing my mother closer to a heart attack.

[this scene takes place in the car on the way back from Wendy's. I am eating fries out of the bag. Jake is freaking out.]
The Mother: Cut that out. You'd mind somebody elses germs too.
The Daughter: I'd mind some of your germs.
[The Mother swats at the seat beside her on which her daughter is leaning on from the back. The Daughter snickers.]
The Daughter: I wouldn't mind some of [anon.]'s germs... heh heh heh.
[cheeky comment has given rise to discussion of how The Daughter is conversing with a 50-year-old balding Mexican man who is posing as a sexy 20-something American on the internet. Jake claims that The Daughter flirts with "EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME! EVEN MIKE!"]
The Mother: [slightly unsettled] She's just practicing her skills for later on...
The Daughter: Oh, I don't practice those skills on Mike! ;-)
Jake: Eww! Get out!

A ha ha. My family hates me.

Ta Da.