Musings

Mood: bored
Music: the white stripes - we're going to be friends

OH, YES!!!!!!!

Just this passing Thursday Charlotte and I were happily discussing our plans to buy some brand-spankin'-new flip flops-- and if that's not excitement enough, we then conversed about the joys of wearing flip flops, and our imminent plans to do just that.

Nature heard us. ...Nature is a spiteful hag. (That picture was taken a couple hours ago. It is now snowing again.)

Anywhoo. Moving on.

Lastnight I went disco-bowling. It wasn't very fun, because aside from the fact that I bowled a 10 in my entire first game, halfway through the second game I felt really dizzy and started hallucinating that the bowling balls caused a splash-like wave of disco colour to erupt from the lane every time someone bowled. I think there were something like 30 lanes and each one was full. Weeee!

Ever since the famine I've been eating everything in sight (including, I am proud to announce, a dippin' strips pizza), which is fine because the more I weigh the less likely I am to get killed by some big butch rugby player... but I still have that itsy little dress to fit into come formal time. What is a girl to do? Honestly. I know I am perfectly capable of losing weight, however this time I don't have the luxury of being depressed to the point where I lack the will to eat, therefore making resistance a hell of a lot tougher. Dammit.

Anyways... that's my life for you. This morning I watched five of my peers get saved by Christ (with a little help from Pastor Brian) which was very cool, but at the same time a nagging little reminder that I'm not "in the club". A distant cousin to their happy family, if you will. In other words, I'm goin' to hell. I don't know what I have against baptism, really... I truly enjoy CELL and Church and the Bible and I'm undeniably a better person for it - but I still have some desire to keep myself distanced, which makes absolutely no sence because I hate feeling alone more than anything else... I hate that about myself, it's so awkward. All I really want in life is to find a real best friend and love and safety, but ever since I was little with my mother and stuff, and especially now after what happened with Derek I'm stuck with that deep-rooted fear of being close to anyone. Maybe even God.

Gah! Too many feelings for one day!

ta da.