French and Italian Wonders, part I

Mood: sleep deprived
Music: south park - kyle's mom's a bitch

HAHA! This song is just too funny for me right now. I need to go to bed.

Anyways. I'll start off by stating that my trip was AMAZING! However, one specific group of grade 11 girls were possibly the most irratating, nerve-wracking creatures on the whole entire planet. For instance. We were touring a perfume factory in France where there was a large poster on the wall illustrating where all the essential oils came from around the world and indcated also that pine came from home sweet home, right here in Canada. Without missing a beat, one of said unfortunately loud girls pipes up "EEEEW!! Who would want pine in their perfume???"
One. It's not for perfume, it's for cologne you twit.
Two. That's incredibly rude. Shut the hell up.
But to my utmost delight, there was also a group of grade 11 girls and boys whom I became pleasantly familiar with who made my trip that much better right when I was contemplating putting a gun to my head. I love you.

Another amazing aspect of my trip was that as soon as you're over the ocean the local sleaze count drops dramatically as people you don't like cease to exhist. WOO HOO! No Whoremongers or Bitchfaces as far as the eye can see!! I love it. I'm moving to Paris. I can honestly say I didn't miss anyone, though there were some individuals whom I thought of fondly throughout my travels.

One thing that was slightly disappointing was that I didn't see a mime (or Robbie Williams or Jake Gyllenhaal). Not a single. bloody. mime. Hello? I SPENT A WEEK IN FRANCE!! There were a multitude of people with metalic body paint who pretended to be statues, though. I guess those are the mimes of the future... though I'm fond of tradition, the future-mimes cheered me up just a 'lil.
And I loved Venice. I loved it so much in fact that I brought a piece of it home with me, made of fire-engine-red Italian leather that swings nicely over my shoulder and costed me 95 euros. (Down from 127. They liked me 'cause I'm Canadian. :-) ) And you know who went to Venice the same week as me? KEITH RICHARDS!!! Whoa man. Anneliese and Keith Richards, in one week. Venice sure is the place to be!

Anyways that should be just about enough fun for one night. But if you want to know what it's like in France right now just envision no snow and lots of cigarette smoke, and a billboard for this in every direction you look.

Ciao.