It was a rough night.

wearing: peace vs. love shirt, dark flair-y jeans
eating: drinking: pink lemonade
listening to: 'stop crying your heart out' by oasis

Today was Mack's birthday and I went over to Mikey's and we held a jolly good celebration for him.
I wasn't in the mood to wrestle and I was being quite the snoot about it, so as I was crossing the room Fabio caught me off guard and flipped me upside down! The nerve! I was so scared that he would drop me and I'd break my neck, or that I'd lose my lunch all over Mikey's basement. Either way, I'd surely be killed. Well, he finally put me down, but instead of crawling away I rebelled and tackled him! ...Which landed me beneath both Mikey and The Maestro in a dog pile. Good show!

Speaking of The Maestro, I've inadvertently taken it upon myself to ignore him, just ignore his presence as much as I can. And I like it -- it's cleansing. For now, anyways. I know of a girl that likes him, too. I've known of her for many a year, enough time to form the opinion that she is a genuinely nice girl. I've only really spoken with her one time, but she was one of those people I get a funny connection with and am actually able to talk to inspite of being strangers. I would hate to see a person like that make the same mistake I did and waste their time being so good to him. She deserves someone that knows how to treat girls... The Maestro's just an inept boyfriend, he doesn't pay attention to girls in that kind of way. That's what his first girlfriend saw and why she dumped him, and that's why it hurt me so much when it happened with us - there's just so many good things in him, things that I was looking for, but things required to maintain a good, strong relationship as more than friends are missing. I kept no secrets from him, I liked doing little things for him 'just because', and I would have done almost anything for him if it would have made him happy. But all of that fun stuff was one-way, even though there's no doubt in my mind that he cared for me. It doesn't dawn on him to do the same, and if someone has to be told, it isn't right. For instance, for his birthday I went out of my way and consulted Fabio to pick out a CD that I knew he would like. Plus, I devoted over ten hours of my life to a pointalism thing just for him because I knew he'd love it. But when my birthday rolled around, he didn't so much as give me a birthday card - yet for everyone else he'll run out and shop for like it's his civic duty - I definitely felt taken for granted!!
Anyways, that's even if he liked her, which I very much doubt because he's only liked three girls before and right now, no matter what he says, he seems pretty keen on Christina. It would just be sad to see a girl like that waste her time on him, that's all. He's like a little kid.

I don't 'like' anybody right now, which is weird and a bit scary because it's been over a year. I still 'like' The Maestro actually, there's that feeling deep deep down - like when you rip out a weed and some of the roots get left behind. Even though these feelings for him remain, the bitterness, if you will, is now stronger - like another weed slowly choking the life out of the first. And that's good right now, that's what I need. And that's probably where the desire to ignore him comes from - that first weed's got to be totally dead and gone or those roots will get in the way of any attempted friendship we try to grow.

I love my analogies!

...Today I likened The Maestro to a person who rips a big ghastly fart and then runs away to let everyone else suffer. And that's exactly like him too, lol! Like how he dropped the 'just friends' bomb on me, creating a huge problem which he then wanted absolutely nothing to do with. I remember that Saturday at Christina's he was just the life of the party, completely ignorant to my feelings and how badly he had hurt me, while I sat there within an arm's reach trying to hold back the tears in my eyes - I do not cry infront of people. God, I hate him for that!!!

*YaWnS*

The hour is late.

Ta Ta, My Darlings.