Open Letter to the Father of the Very Best Daughter in the World

Dearest Father,
There comes a time in every young woman's life when she needs to explore the world, push the boundaries, see what life has to offer her. It is natural, in the process of growing up, for a girl to seek adventure, bravely lunging off the beaten path of womanhood in persuit of finding her true self.
However, in these times the world can be a dangerous place. I am thankful for the years of wonderful guidance you have given me, replenishing my mind in times of drought with your never-ending fountain of knowledge. Unfortunately in these times it is not enough just to be a wonderful and loving parent, for love alone will not protect your children in the dark, tangled woods that are their lives. What could be a more meaningful gift than prepairing your child for what lies ahead?
There is a way to avert certain disaster and ensure the happiness and safety of your beloved offspring-- what better way to travel off the beaten path than in a shiny new flame red Jeep Wrangler Sport, fully loaded with air conditioning, 7-speaker 6-cd changer AM/FM sterioP225/75R15 standard. 30" tire & wheel group, chrome, full metal doors and a leather-wrapped steering wheel (for, you know, that added grip when the roads get icy)?
The plan is absolutely 100% completely fool-proof. Your child (me), is insured a safe, wonderful and happy future, and as for yourself, you reach the coveted summit of fine parenting. Plus, no flame red Jeep Wrangler Sport, fully loaded with air conditioning, 7-speaker 6-cd changer AM/FM sterioP225/75R15 standard. 30" tire & wheel group, chrome, and full metal doors is ever truly complete without a person as cute as me happily pearched behind it's leather-wrapped stearing wheel.

Rest assured, it is for the better good of all humankind.

Sincerely,
Your loving daughter,
~Anneliese



PS. It's okay to dream...