Suicide is Painless

Wearing:  pajamas
Eating:  N/A
Listening to:  Weak and Powerless by A Perfect Circle

Today was good, but I spent the wind-down of my evening pulling a Joel Bandy ("my life sucks", etc.)  on account of The Mother being a total wraith and screaming at me for being a 'dictator' amongst other things, because I went on the computer when nobody was on it, then my brother wanted on and I said "Not right now" and so that constituted me being a 'dictator'.  She's also bitchy because I 'use this house as a place to sleep and an occasional free meal, then I'm out of here' -- well excuse me - it's not like I'd be doing anything with her anyways, she'd be in the garden, or consuming some form of alcohol with Mary, and I'd be sitting around aimlessly with nothing to do.  The last time that happened I went out to the garden and actually tried to talk to her, and after a couple minutes I believe the response I got was "Aren't you going somewhere today?"  So make up your mind you stupid woman.
It's frustrating because I've never really done anything 'bad' - I messed around for a little while with my schoolwork in grade nine and got 60's and stuff, but now that I'm trying, and being recommended for honor roll, all I get is a jotted note on the back of an envelope about how 'proud' she is of me.  Yet my fourteen year old brother who leaves a mess everywhere and never turns the lights off, throws a fit whenever he doesn't get what he wants, and is now spending roughly $100/month on recreational substances gets a pizza every Friday, and she was actually prepared to drive to Toronto the other day so she could pay for us to all go see a movie of his choice.  Lovely...  If I slit my wrists she'd probably take me to Wonderland.

Anyways...  now that I've found myself back down in the metaphorical ditch that I've come to know so well, I thought I'd share this with everybody because, ironically enough, it was the thing that cheered me up.

Enjoy!

 

Ta Da