Hooray for media literacy!

Mood: pained
Music: Marilyn Manson - Dried up Tied up and Dead to the World

I am never particularily overjoyed to recieve the infamous Bonsai Kitten petition in my inbox. You all know the one - "This is so terrible... A Japanese man in New York breeds and sells kittens that are called BONSAI CATS. That would sound cute, if it weren't kittens that were put into little bottles after being given a muscle relaxant and then locked up for the rest of their lives.. blah blah blah, boo hoo hoo." -- IT'S A HOAX!

This time I was more affected than usual, in fact I became so interested that I called The Father for a bit of paternal insight. After explaining the situation, he offers this wisdom: "Why would you want to put a kitten in a jar? See, the thing with kittens is you want to watch them run around and play - but if you took a big fat old cat and shoved it in a jar, you'd never know the difference because all they do is lay around and sleep anyways." Haha.

Anyways, like I said, this time I was affected. What makes this time so special is that I recieved the e-mail from a girl who did nothing short of woop me in biology class last semester (oh, the irony). And the fact that it had 489 signatures on it which I personally took the time to skim through, discovering to my dismay that of the 489 people from Canada, the USA, the UK (who seem particularily stupid because that's where most of the signatures hail from, along with the state of Michigan who's population is... somewhat smaller, so what's their excuse?), France, Norway, Finland, Austrailia, New Zealand, Korea, and even the precious Fatherland (Germany), not one of them took the thirty seconds required to fire up Google and find out it's a hoax. Not one. Which depressed me.

Okay people. If you're so passionate about a non-existant cause, check out PETA and they will inform you that although no one is cramming kittens into glass jars, "Chickens, calves, and pigs are crammed into cages so small they cannot turn or stretch" on factory farms in order to fulfil the demands of red-blooded meat-lovin' men and women everwhere. (Talk about food for thought.)

Or maybe you're strictly a cat person. Well then, have I got something for you! It just so happens that a wonderful little place called Wisconsin has proposed the hunting of 'feral cats' - cats not wearing collars.

[Somewhere in Wisconsin, two men relax out on the deck before the big game. Next to them is a cooler full of American beer.]
"There's just too many of them mangey cats comin' around... hissin' an' scratchin' an' poopin' in the sandbox! They been drivin' the wife crazy!"
[sage-like] "Well Billy, you know what I says? I says we SHOOT 'EM."
...
"You know... I think you're on to something, Bob! What a mighty fiiiine idea!" [reaches inside back pocket of ill-fitting jeans, probably purchased by the wife at local Wal-Mart. Retrieves shotgun.]
[together:] "God bless America!"

Uh... yeah I'm sure theres a petition for the Wisonsin feral cats somewhere too. I just don't care enough to check.

I am going to go now and watch television. When someone comes up with a petition urging citizens to undergo a mandatory media literacy course before embarking upon the internet, send it to me. I shall endorse it with much fervor.

Ta Da!